Submitted by MrDave on Mon, 04/28/2003 - 17:56
Posted in
Brian Clevenger (of 8-bit theater) wrote:
I went to see Bulletproof Monk because sometimes you just need to partake in cinematic fluff. We underestimated its fluff-factor however.This movie is bad.
Not Train Wreck bad where it's awful but you have to see it.
Not Rental bad. Not Pay-per-view bad. Not free Pay-per-view bad. Not It's 3AM, I'm Cramming for Tomorrow's Test, and I Just Need Some Background Noise bad.
How bad? Toward the end of the movie my lower right eyelid itched. While taking care of that problem my finger slipped and I poked myself in the eye.
I didn't mind.
Personally I am facinated. How can a movie starring Chow Yun Fat be bad?
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There's also the small fact that you live on another continent :P
I don't think you'd have to worry about scaring people away hehe. Probably the reverse in fact ;)
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Finally got today's big mailer job to print.
It's 10,000 large.
Oh joy. Guess we know what I'm doing for the next few hours....
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So I get the bright idea to start packing today, and decide to gather up my philosophy books I won't need for the semester, and stick them all in my bed. until found for packing.
At the moment, there are at least 40-50, maybe 60 books on it and I know I haven't found them all.....
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Where are you going to sleep Adam? Over the books?
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Actually I just packed a large number of them away. There's about 8 of them still sitting out there, and still more to find - there's at least 2 logic books around here somewhere, plus an anthology to locate.
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i found this one pretty funny cos we have all been there
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/homerun.html
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The following is a post which I made on another board in a thread about Silly Religious Laws. These laws were so much fun that I simply felt that the people at the politics board should not be the only ones to share in the joy of getting to read about some of the more silly things contained herein.
*****
A taste of Roman religion
(When reading this, recall that the Flamen Dialis is a priest of Jupiter - and that I have edited the list, because I am bored at work, and wanted to make it more list-like)
A great many ceremonies are imposed upon the Flamen Dialis [the priest of Jupiter], and also many restraints [castus multiplices, taboos], about which we read in the books On The Public Priesthoods and also in Book I of Fabius Pictor's work. Among them I recall the following:
- it is forbidden [religio est] the Flamen Dialis to ride a horse;
- it is likewise forbidden him to view the 'classes arrayed' outside the pomerium (the sacred boundary of Rome), i.e., armed and in battle order; hence only rarely is the Flamen Dialis made a consul, since (the conduct of) wars is entrusted to the consuls;
- it is likewise unlawful [fas numquam est] for him ever to take an oath by Jupiter [jurare dialem];
- it is likewise unlawful for him to wear a ring, unless it is cut through and empty [i.e., without a jewel?].
- It is also unlawful to carry out fire from the flaminia, i.e., the Flamen Dialis' dwelling, except for a sacral purpose;
- if a prisoner in chains enters the house he must be released and the chains must be carried up through the impluvium [the opening in the roof above the atrium or living room] onto the roof tiles and dropped down from there into the street.
- He must have no knot in his head gear or in his girdle or in any other part of his attire.
- If anyone is being led away to be flogged and falls at his feet as a suppliant, it is unlawful [piaculum est] to flog him that day.
- The hair of the [Flamen] Dialis is not to be cut, except by a freeman.
- It is customary [mos est] for the Flamen neither to touch nor even to name a female goat, or raw (?) meat, ivy, or beans.
- He must not walk under a trellis for vines.
- The feet of the bed on which he lies must have a thin coating of clay, and he must not be away from this bed for three successive nights, nor is it lawful for anyone else to sleep in this bed.
- At the foot of his bed there must be a box containing a little pile of sacrificial cakes.
- The nail trimmings and hair of the Dialis must be buried in the ground beneath a healthy tree.
- Every day is a holy day [feriatus est] for the Dialis. He must not go outdoors [sub divo] without a head-covering-this is now allowed indoors, but only recently by decree of the pontiffs, as Masurius Sabinus has stated; it is also said that some of the other ceremonies have been remitted and cancelled.
- It is not lawful for him to touch bread made of fermented meal [i.e., with yeast].
- His underwear ['inner tunic ] he does not take off except in covered places, lest he appear nude under the open sky, which is the same as under the eye of Jove.
- No one else outranks him in the seating at a banquet except the Rex sacriftculus.
- If he loses his wife, he must resign his office.
- His marriage cannot be dissolved [dirimi ius non est] except by death.
- He never enters a burying ground, he never touches a corpse.
- He is, however, permitted [-non est religio] to attend a funeral.
- Almost the same ceremonial rules belong to the Flaminica Dialis [i.e., his wife ]. They say that she observes certain other and different ones, for example, that she wears a dyed gown, and that she has a twig from a fruitful tree tucked in her veil [which was worn over her head at a sacrifice], and that it is forbidden [religiosum est] for her to ascend more than three rungs of a ladder (except what the Greeks call 'ladders' [steps? ] ) and even that when she goes to the Argei [when twenty-four puppets were thrown into the Tiber] she must neither comb her head nor arrange her hair.
There was also the yearly crucifixion of a dog on the Capitoline Hill (or was it the Palatine?), to commemerate the failure of the dogs to warn the Romans of the Gauls attack on the hill itself. [/]Things we feel compelled to share...
There is excellent news, good news and bad news.
Excellent news: AS results today! For those not in the know (ie, non-UK) these are the first exams you take in college at the end of your first year. Get good grades, you get to take it on to A2 in the second year. Bad grades and you may have to retake to carry on to A2 and thusly go to uni, or drop out of college.
So with no sleep (see good news) and a weight on my shoulders, I trudged through the blistering heat to my college to collect them with two friends. After a misadventure or two, we came together, gave a count of "1, 2, 3" and opened them. Results? I DEVESTATED the Eng Lit and History papers. A in both! B in Politics! And C in Maths and Critical Thinking!
I PASSED FIVE COURSES! W00T!
(bare in mind most people only take 3-4)
Good news: The party last night was in someways better, in someways worse than saturday, but still a good time was had by all and I thoroughly enjoyed myself, and again got no sleep :P On a related note, girl from Sat came again and we got closer :D
Bad news: Err, none REALLY. There is some about said girl's history with one of my mates that's leaving me confused, but otherwise I'm pretty good today. Another day with a smile on my face! This is becoming a habit...
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NO. No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no
and I say again
NO
This should be outlawed.
http://shop.store.yahoo.com/brandsonsale-store/51104-costumes.html
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Nothing like giving your kids something to aspire to eh? :?
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That is just wrong on so many levels.
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It's offficial. I'm now a published author.
I posted a version of my essay on belief on a philosophy board. The administrator there just happened to be the secretary for a student philosophical society at a uni in Ireland. They're publishing a polished version in their journal.
WOO HOO! :D
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kinda funny
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Oh I can top that...
http://homepage.mac.com/njenson/movies/lovedocs.html
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I'm just excited and want to join in a bit of political merriment, so...
WOO HOO! The Assault Weapons Ban expired. :)
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Assault Weapons 8O as in when the bullet htis the body armour it goes right through kind of Assault Weapons thats kinda sceary
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http://www.awbansunset.com/
That should tell you all you need to know.
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http://users.net1plus.com/scottm/HomeComputer.jpg (photo circa 1954)
And I thought my first computer was clunky....
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As most of you know by now, I'm the resident Latin taker. This semester I am reading the text of Platus' play, Pseudolus, in which the clever slave tries to arrange for his master to be able to get a common prostitute, who the master is in love with, to marry him. They have but a single day to get the 20 minae with which to purchase her, before the soldier comes to claim his bride!
In the following scene in translation, Calidorus (the master) and Pseudolus (the slave) speak with Ballio (the pimp). It was too amusing to pass up sharing with you all. Calidorus is upset, because Ballio promised to sell her to nobody but himself, and has made the deal with the soldier. And well... things get... interesting.
=====
CALIDORUS You have proved perjured, you villain.
BALLIO I sacked the money at home, however. Villain as I am, I am now able to draw upon a stock of silver in my house; whereas you who are so dutiful, and born of that grand family, haven't a single coin.
CALIDORUS Pseudolus, stand by him on the other side and load this fellow with imprecations.
PSEUDOLUS Very well. Never would I run to the Praetor with equal speed that I might be made free. (Stands on the other side of BALLIO.)
CALIDORUS Heap on him a multitude of curses.
PSEUDOLUS Now will I publish you with my rebukes. Thou lackshame!
BALLIO 'Tis the fact.
PSEUDOLUS Villain!
BALLIO You say the truth.
PSEUDOLUS Whipping-post!
BALLIO Why not?
PSEUDOLUS Robber of tombs!
BALLIO No doubt.
PSEUDOLUS Gallows-bird!
BALLIO Very well done.
PSEUDOLUS Cheater of your friends!
BALLIO That's in my way.
PSEUDOLUS Parricide!
BALLIO Proceed, you.
CALIDORUS Committer of sacrilege!
BALLIO I own it.
CALIDORUS Perjurer!
BALLIO You're telling nothing new.
CALIDORUS Lawbreaker!
BALLIO Very much so.
PSEUDOLUS Pest of youth!
BALLIO Most severely said.
CALIDORUS Thief!
BALLIO Oh! wonderful!
PSEUDOLUS Vagabond!
BALLIO Pooh! pooh!
CALIDORUS Defrauder of the public!
BALLIO Most decidedly so.
PSEUDOLUS Cheating scoundrel!
CALIDORUS Filthy pander!
PSEUDOLUS Lump of filth!
BALLIO A capital chorus.
CALIDORUS You beat your father and mother.
BALLIO Aye, and killed them, too, rather than find them food; did I do wrong at all?
PSEUDOLUS We are pouring our words into a pierced cask: we are losing our pains.
BALLIO Would you like to call me anything else besides?
CALIDORUS Is there anything that shames you?
BALLIO Yes; that you have been found to be a lover as empty as a rotten nut. But although you have used towards me expressions many and harsh, unless the Captain shall bring me this day the five minæ that he owes me, as this was the last day appointed for the payment of that money, if he doesn't bring it, I think that I am able to do my duty.
CALIDORUS What is that duty?
BALLIO If you bring the money, I'll break faith with him; that's my duty. If it were more worth my while, I would talk further with you. But, without a coin of money, 'tis in vain that you request me to have pity upon you. Such is my determination; but do you, from this, consider what you have henceforth to do? (Moves.)
CALIDORUS Are you going then?
BALLIO At present I am full of business. ((Exit.))
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Just Because...
Rodent revival
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Your G-Unit shirt -$40. your airforce ones-$130. your Bling Bling-$250. realizing you're white..priceless
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More from Matt the Lefty Political Guy.
Nicked this this off a blog on weebl.jolt.co.uk. As it says on the blog : "If you're like me and don't really see eye-to-eye with Robert Kilroy-Silk's current employers, the UK Independence Party, you might enjoy this. In short, some Labour MEP I hadn't heard of wrote a pamphlet called "25 Things You Didn't Know When You Voted for UKIP" and published it...it's a bit long but there's some choice quotes and facts, funny and scary in equal measure, showing (most significantly) the UKIP's connections with the BNP."
Read and...uh...weep?
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The Situation in Iraq
http://www.ifilm.com/media/sniffer?stage=prefcheck&pinfo=ipt:partner|gpt:1|fid:2649264|bw:200|refsite:6183|lid:|sid:131|cid:110
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The Situation in the US
Sorry, couldn't resist :P
Enjoy another four years! I know I will hehe
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Ugh, don't remind me. I was crying when I got home from school :cry:
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I'll be honest, I was more relieved than anything else. "FINALLY! Peace! No more about elections."
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I'll drink to that, Adam. I found the entire election process to be really much more depressing than the voting part.
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I'm cosoling myself with the thought that at least I can move back to Australia... oh wait, they voted Johnny Bloody Howard
back in, too, didn't they? 8O
Hmm, sounds like Uruguay might be a better bet politically... :)
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I read an advertising blog that occasionally has some very interesting stuff. This tim eit is a series of "parody" ads for Diebold who make those stupid electronic voting machines. Good for a laugh.
http://homepage.mac.com/rcareaga/diebold/adworks.htm#the_top
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Urban Legends
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this is really funny...especially if you (like me) like to drive around and look at Christmas Lights this time of year:
http://www.uglychristmaslights.com/
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I so have to take a camera with me to the big family getotgether this year. Why? Because on the road, on the way down, is a guy who gets more and more elaborate. The centrepiece is the following:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESUS
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Jennifer has me watching the Harry Potter movies. I would like to propose a completely random thought, namely, that before William the Bloody was William the Bloody, he had to have attended Hogwart's School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
My evidence:
SPIKE -
DRACO MALFOY -
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i dunno... the cheekbones would need plenty of work... the sneer however.... hmmmm....
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Since New Year's is coming, I think its about time I began my "End of the year" bitching:
2004 was a bullshit year [for me, at least]. Here's why.
1. Did bad on my midterms
2. My grandmother had a stroke
3. Did shitty on my finals
4. Pissed off my friend's mother, so now I can't go over her house
5. Marlon Brando died
6. Boston Red Sox won the world series
7. George W. Bush got reelected (In the immortal words of Rob Corrdery, "An amazing feat for a man who is technically retarded")
8. Guys from Pantera were shot
9. My grandmother died :cry:
10. I got sick on both during BOTH my school breaks (Spring and Winter)
Alright, that's off my chest :)
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Llama!
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Ebay has some really cool stuff, eh?
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=1128&item=4515859...
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Read any good books lately?
http://www.rinkworks.com/bookaminute/classics.shtml
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Top Gear Granny Doughnut Challenge
Bonus!: Blendie
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Just another reminder of how great Top Gear is!
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Adam shared a "Warthog launcher" game at one point. This might give you a better idea where that idea came from:
http://www.ifilm.com/viralvideo?ifilmid=2660527
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heh
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I feel compelled to share that I FINALLY managed to get rid of this bloody hijacker virus on my computer that has been plaguing me with popups and other nasty behaviour for MONTHS!
*Jumps up and down* I'm free! I'm free! I'm free! :D :D
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... for about .4 seconds until the next virus uploads itself... :)
Time to get a better firewall, Lou.
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I did... ages ago. But it doesn't get rid of the viruses already on my comp. Now I finally got rid of the bugger! :twisted:
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Download HiJackThis, Ad-Aware and Spybot and you can get rid of ANY spyware ect. Havent found one yet I couldent get rid of.
When I scanned my moms puter, she had over 6000 seperate Viruses, Spyware and browser hijacks and those 3 programs got rid of ALL of them and she hasent had one since.
Loss immeasurable
Well, I finally got my home computer back up and running after 3 weeks and what's the first bit of news I see...
This will probably only matter to we always right citizens of the United States and only to those of a certain, ahem, age (apparently none but me here) but...bear with me because I am truly at a loss and have nowhere else to express it -- and apologies because it's really long-winded and self-indulgent but...
My father was a physician and my mother was a psychiatric social worker. The first home I remember was the apartment wing of a nurses' dorm on the grounds of one of Illinois' mental institutions -- Kankakee State Hospital by name. KSH once housed Abraham Lincoln's quite mad wife and (rumor has it) James Taylor.
It was the Sixties in America. My sometimes playmates were other doctors' kids also living on the grounds of Kankakee State Hospital. Most barely spoke English. I'll explain.
To practice medicine privately in the United States, one has to have a license. At that time, however, one could practice medicine for a state facility without a license. So most of the physicians practicing medicine at Kankakee State were refugees from some hard and wicked times in world history. Eastern European physicians and their families who left bits of clothes and relatives on barbed wire, barely escaping the construction of walls and wars that were cold. Cuban doctors and their families who abandoned vast fortunes to the benefit of the revolution in exchange for the skin of their admittedly selfish teeth. Russian (not Soviet as Dr. Greschkov emphatically explained to me) doctors who didn't agree with the promise of Kruschev's shoe of the burial of our particular brand of selling what sells and keeping the proceeds for ourselves. Jewish doctors with numbers tattooed on their wrists and strange, garish healed over scars made by madmen testing flesh, faith and souls. Brilliant doctors who were indeed U.S. citizens but were not an acceptable color to sell what sells and keep the proceeds for himself.
Everyone had a justifiable paranoia about people other than themselves, so me and my fellow doctors' kids were nearly as estranged from each other as our parents were from their homelands. We played with each other with a somewhat jaundiced eye.
The citizens of Kankakee were wary of the nuthouse that housed the "mental people," as were my public school classmates and more importantly, their parents. None of my classmates EVER were allowed to or wanted to visit me.
But finally, finally, when I was almost 7 years old -- we got a television. I had a non-judgmental, welcoming, non-paranoid friend who never got tired of talking to me.
It scared me. Hitchcock. Outer Limits.
It sparked my imagination. Twilight Zone. Playhouse 90.
And it made me laugh! Jackie Gleason (and the June Taylor Dancers). Red Skelton (the only clown that matters). Danny Kaye (who charmed children before hanging out with kids was creepy). Lucy.
But none made me laugh more than Johnny Carson. I would lay in my tiny bed, pretending to be asleep and listen to Johnny on my parents' television in the next room. Every single night. Most of the jokes went over my head at the time, but if my parents laughed so heartily (which they never did, at least with each other, but that's another story) he must be funny.
No one had better guests -- not Mike, not Merv. No one had better sketches -- Carnac, oh, and can I express how much I wanted to be Carol Wayne. No one had a better band -- Skitch Henderson, Doc Severinson. No one made comedy careers like he did -- Joan Rivers, Richard Pryor, George Carlin, Roseanne Barr. No one had better off the cuff occurrences -- Ed Ames throwing a hatchet, case in point. No one had better musical guests -- Ella Fitzgerald, Pearl Bailey, Louis Armstrong, Duke Ellington -- and this was during the furor over Petula Clark touching Harry Belafonte's arm on national television. No one had a better monologue; rarely politically positional. He made good natured fun of everyone. And then there were animals that Marlin Perkins (from Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom) brought. And Ed. Always Ed.
The older I got, the later I got to stay up, as I went to college, and as I started my life, the funnier he got. Back then, there were just 3 networks, CBS, NBC and ABC, and you had to adjust the antennae differently for each station. Before the remote control, before cable, before HBO, before the Internets, before True Hollywood Stories, before Buffy, there was Johnny and you could always count on him to entertain no matter what. You watched Johnny when there was nothing else to watch. And there was always nothing else to watch.
When he retired, I quit watching late night. Yeah, Letterman's clever. Jay is okay. But it's all bastardized and substandard Johnny. It just doesn't do. And the way he retired and disappeared. Just all kinds of classy.
He was the constant in the U.S. from 1962 to 1992. The always there.
Johnny Carson passed this morning. With all this technology around me, the relationships with people from all corners of the world (I'm looking at you LABN), I'll miss him. He holds unconquerable territory in my history.
--Crusty Cootiebutt
ETA: Here's a pretty good essay on Johnny Carson from Salon
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Actually Sherl, I can sympathize. I can remember the secret thrill of sneaking out to watch Johnny which came on WAY past my bedtime and trying hard not to laugh outloud at the jokes and thereby get caught.
I often have to winge inwardly when I mention names of celebrities to Heather and she goes "who?" - but Johnny isn't one of them. But knowing who someone is and feeling him as part of your life is a completely different story.
You are right that Johnny Carson was a name that will ring as prominent in Televison history as a pioneer. not of the format, show, comedy , or even presentation...other people did those things first. but Johnny picked the absolute best of all of them, molded it into a show and then held onto that for more years than any 'reality' show will ever run.
Damn, someone in Heaven is saying "H-e-e-e-e-re's Johhny".
:cry: