Things we feel compelled to share...

Submitted by MrDave on Mon, 04/28/2003 - 17:56

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LNG Archive

Brian Clevenger (of 8-bit theater) wrote:

I went to see Bulletproof Monk because sometimes you just need to partake in cinematic fluff. We underestimated its fluff-factor however.

This movie is bad.

Not Train Wreck bad where it's awful but you have to see it.

Not Rental bad. Not Pay-per-view bad. Not free Pay-per-view bad. Not It's 3AM, I'm Cramming for Tomorrow's Test, and I Just Need Some Background Noise bad.

How bad? Toward the end of the movie my lower right eyelid itched. While taking care of that problem my finger slipped and I poked myself in the eye.

I didn't mind.

Personally I am facinated. How can a movie starring Chow Yun Fat be bad?

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Submitted by Kieran on Tue, 03/09/2004 - 17:52.

ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I JUST FEEL ABSOLUTELY FRUSTRATED RIGHT NOW...NOTHING CAN EXPRESS THE WAY IM FEELING...IRRITATED, PISSED, ANGRY, MAD, FUCKING PISSED, DISGRAZIATA...NOT ONLY DID JUVENTUS PLAY A PISS POOR MATCH BUT GODDAMN MANCHESTER HAD TO ALLOW A GOAL ON THE 90TH MINUTE....THE 90TH FREAKING MINUTE THAT ALLOWED PORTO TO TIE THE GAME AND HAVE A GREATER AGGREGATE SCORE, FUCKING RETARDED BLOKES...PORCA MISERIA, NOW BOTH OF MY TEAMS ARE OUT OF THE CHAMPIONS LEAGUE :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: , AND TO TOP IT OFF, ARGGGGGG, SHIT TEAMS LIKE DEPORTIVO AND PORTO ADVANCED :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil:

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Submitted by Logan on Tue, 03/09/2004 - 19:15.

I guess the epidemic of starving people in the world just doesnt seem so bad when compared to that...

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Submitted by Meredith Bell on Tue, 03/09/2004 - 19:17.

LOL!! :lol: :lol: :lol:

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Submitted by MrDave on Wed, 03/10/2004 - 14:11.

Okay This guy's 15 minutes are so over...

http://entertainment.msn.com/music/article.aspx?news=151939

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Submitted by Hola-Meg-a-Cola on Wed, 03/10/2004 - 17:12.

OMG, I totally read the same article in school today. What is the world coming to :?

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Submitted by MrDave on Wed, 03/10/2004 - 19:04.

God Hates Shrimp

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Submitted by MrDave on Thu, 03/11/2004 - 12:24.

Okay I am a registered Republican, and even through I think he could have done some things better, I still support the US President. I refuse to tear the man down (or let others do so) without cause or with accusations unsupported by facts.

But...I can still laugh about some things...

http://mcmanus.typepad.com/grind/2004/03/free_marketplac.html

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Submitted by Kieran on Thu, 03/11/2004 - 18:20.

yeah, that's solid of u dave...too bad we can't say the same here in canada...we have the knack of electing retards and then making them resign only to have more retards supplant them

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Submitted by Hola-Meg-a-Cola on Thu, 03/11/2004 - 18:24.

Don't... comment... on... Bush issue.... Hold... your... tongue, girl... :P

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Submitted by Heather on Thu, 03/11/2004 - 18:25.

Adriana Lautari wrote:

Don't... comment... on... Bush issue.... Hold... your... tongue, girl... :P

Yes, I've been doing lots of tongue-biting myself....

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Submitted by Meredith Bell on Thu, 03/11/2004 - 18:28.

Natasha Brookes wrote:

Adriana Lautari wrote:
Don't... comment... on... Bush issue.... Hold... your... tongue, girl... :P

Yes, I've been doing lots of tongue-biting myself....

Oh THANK-GOD!! I thought I was going insane here on my own - which i probably was regardless but still.... *looks at teeth marks in tongue* :?

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Submitted by Hola-Meg-a-Cola on Thu, 03/11/2004 - 18:28.

Must... keep... Democratic... views... off... board....

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Submitted by Hola-Meg-a-Cola on Thu, 03/11/2004 - 18:51.

But, anywho, I have to say that this is the greatest thing I've ever seen:

LMAO... that crazy handpuppet sung some of the greatest tunes... :P

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Submitted by Blackthorn on Thu, 03/11/2004 - 21:43.

haha @ talk of Cretien

Stupid Liberal Majority!

Sadly the Conservatives arent much better :(

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Submitted by Kieran on Fri, 03/12/2004 - 10:52.

sadly, none of the parties here are better :P ...man, i should be in power, bring Canada a little of that ooomph we're missing (have u noticed that all the prime ministers who have had tenures of worth all came from Quebec :P ...

martin has already started pissing people off...and charest just seems to do that by twitching...bah, quebeccers are dumb

i say canada just pries a foreigner out of retirement, say thatcher and throw us onto the big stage, maybe she'll have us invade puerto rico and stick to those americanos :roll:

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Submitted by Disposable_Hero on Fri, 03/12/2004 - 12:48.

...

you want Thatcher?

I'd say let you have her and goodbye to old rubbish, but I wouldn't wish Thatcher on my worst enemy. It's probably for the best we keep her in the Lords where she can't cause anybody too much (read: no) trouble and we can keep any eye on her.

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Submitted by Heather on Fri, 03/12/2004 - 13:10.

Hey, Ric, if you want old had-it extreme right-wingers, please take Joe Bjelke-Peterson off our hands. You're welcome to him. :D

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Submitted by Blackthorn on Fri, 03/12/2004 - 14:03.

Ya Canada just needs a good Dictator and we would be set! + We couldent possibly be an "evil" dictatorship since we simply dont have the millitary resources to even control our own population. So Canada would be come a happy little candy land dictatorship!

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Submitted by Logan on Fri, 03/12/2004 - 19:51.

Id say Canada needs a Monarchy, with me as its King....

Peasant slave: "King Shaun, the people are starving"

Shaun: "So let them eat maple syrup..."

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Submitted by James_Connor on Fri, 03/12/2004 - 20:04.

hahahah

comeon chance thatcher wasent bad blair is much worse at least we new the bitch was agenst us but blair is a fucker who pretentds to be on ourside god i hate blair almost as much as dubba 8)

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Submitted by Hola-Meg-a-Cola on Fri, 03/12/2004 - 20:09.

Jamie: Hahahaha... it's pronounced "DubYA". If you don't get it right, the righty wings might come after you :wink:

Shaun: .... I don't think the world is ready for you lmao

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Submitted by James_Connor on Fri, 03/12/2004 - 20:16.

heh the righteys cant tocuh me imn white and im prodstant and im str8 im like an uber being to them im probley there next [resedental candadit serouly i hate polaticans skummy basterds the lot of them

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Submitted by Hola-Meg-a-Cola on Fri, 03/12/2004 - 20:26.

Well, we know one profession to cross off your "What I Want to Be When I Get Older"... :D

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Submitted by Blackthorn on Fri, 03/12/2004 - 20:27.

haha so I guess all liberals are Black, Pagan and Gay lol

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Submitted by Kieran on Fri, 03/12/2004 - 22:07.

ahhhhh, i think we should all be italian politicians...put under microscope the latest shenanigans of its prime minister who happens to still own one of the top 3 football clubs in the country, the largest tv network...

and yes, parliament is an arena where questionable calls made by referees are discussed...AND...we like to think the EU is beneficial, but in reality it is bluntly "stupid, stupid, stupid"...

it's been a slow week in the news, what with all the attention being hogged by the americans, so let us "consider" pardoning a nazi war criminal who's close to pushing daisies

hmmm, that has lost steam...what with the world not ever taking us serious and now that spain has stolen the spotlight...

ah, dio benedisce l'italia!!!

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Submitted by Hola-Meg-a-Cola on Sat, 03/13/2004 - 00:07.

Grrr.... javascripts officially suck... I'm using them on my Live Journel on Xanga.... it might be because its 11 pm here, but its very frustrating... :evil:

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Submitted by Blackthorn on Sat, 03/13/2004 - 00:15.

Javas not that hard, especially for web based stuff... now working with Unix, thats a pain in the ass!

Anyhow... its snowing again. I hate Canadian winters!!!!!!!

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Submitted by Hola-Meg-a-Cola on Sat, 03/13/2004 - 18:26.

Arg... fuck javascripts for being so damn confusing and fuck Neopets for making a "NeoMites Injection" impossible to get for a newbie :evil: I'm not having a good day... :cry:

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Submitted by Tarix Conny on Sat, 03/13/2004 - 19:20.

Umm Meghan....you can cure your neopet by taking it to the healing springs...they'll be a time when she says "all your pets are completely cured" and even if your pet has neomites, they will be cured...its a waste of nps to spend on medicines...

also if you wanna get the neomites injection just buy it...its for 600nps currently for sale at chawindacz's shop...

yes ppl, my life is sad.....:P

btw i'm sunny_sun_son....who'r you?

ps...what did happen to our neopets by night? seemed to have vanished into the thin air...

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Submitted by Tarix Conny on Wed, 03/17/2004 - 17:37.

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Submitted by Kieran on Wed, 03/17/2004 - 19:47.

those are big feet 8O

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Submitted by Hola-Meg-a-Cola on Tue, 04/06/2004 - 19:37.

I wanna have Halloween on Christmas. For non-US citizens, Halloween is HUGE here in the States. I really want Halloween to come.

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Submitted by Evalyn Toussaint on Thu, 04/08/2004 - 11:58.

LOL! Halloween. hehe, you should come down under to Australia. Man, it really goes off here :wink: never had a halloween until you've had a halloween in Australia. I swear! it may aswell be part of our national anthem, we're so into it! hehe

ps. you know what they say about big feet :wink:

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Submitted by Kaarin on Sun, 04/11/2004 - 21:52.

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Submitted by Kaarin on Tue, 04/27/2004 - 04:24.

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Submitted by Evalyn Toussaint on Tue, 04/27/2004 - 10:30.

OMG! i have seen a TON of those somewhere :D i LOVE them! i wish i could remember where :(

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Submitted by Heather on Wed, 04/28/2004 - 09:36.

Well, just to let you all know at once - I got my US Residency yesterday! :)

Which means they can't kick me out of the country any more. Apologies to all the Americans - looks like you're stuck with me now. :>

And the best part is, I don't have to go back to the Baltimore Immigration building for two more years. Woo hoo! Man, I was getting sick of those queues...

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Submitted by Logan on Wed, 04/28/2004 - 10:39.

Congrats Heather,

In other news, Im moving the 5th of June :(......It sucks alot, and ill probably be without internet for awhile around that time.

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Submitted by Heather on Thu, 04/29/2004 - 13:18.

Ode to a Spell Checker

I have a spelling checker -
It came with my PC.
It plane lee marks four my revue
Miss steaks aye can knot sea.

Eye ran this poem threw it,
Your sure reel glad two no.
Its vary polished in it's weigh,
My checker tolled me sew.

A checker is a bless sing,
It freeze yew lodes of thyme.
It helps me right awl stiles two reed,
And aides me when aye rime.

To rite with care is quite a feet
Of witch won should be proud.
And wee mussed dew the best wee can,
Sew flaws are naught aloud.

And now bee cause my spelling
Is checked with such grate flare,
Their are know faults with in my cite,
Of nun eye am a wear.

Each frays come posed up on my screen
Eye trussed to bee a joule
The checker poured o'er every word
To cheque sum spelling rule.

That's why aye brake in two averse
By righting wants too pleas.
Sow now ewe sea why aye dew prays
Such soft wear for pea seas

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Submitted by MrDave on Tue, 05/18/2004 - 17:31.

I just find this sort of behavior facinating. Why would anyone slap a moniker like these on their children? I consider it a form of child abuse at best or a horrible fiolation of human rights at worst. I mean it's all well and good to have a family name that is a little unusual. My father's middle name was "Rea" and my Uncle's middle name is "MacDonald" so I am no stranger to unusual names. I have a (different) Uncle Morris after all (and his eldest son is Syd). But some of these names are just plain goofy. Apple? Puh-lease. Let the kid have a normal name so he can have a normal childhood. If he wants to change his name to an unpronouncable symbol when he grows up then that is his business. Shoot, you could even help him pick one out. Don't feed your celebrity becasue you have been all fat and pregnant for months by choosing a name for your baby that only serves to keep your name in the press.

MSN Entertainment wrote:

It's only been a few days since Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin introduced their 9 lb., 11 oz. bouncing baby Apple to the world, and already we're sick of the puns ("Apple of Gwyn's eye," "Pomme in the oven," "Gwynny Smith," and pretty much anything in the "core" or "peel" genre). No word on the significance of the oddball appellation, though theories have ranged from a New York homage to a wacky Beatles tribute to the most expensive Mac product placement ever.

We wish little Apple the best of luck on the playground (you'll need it, honey), and offer her these words of consolation: It could've been a whole lot worse. Really. We'll never understand why some celebrities, who are capable of giving their children the best of everything, saddle them with monikers that will inevitably lead to teasing, fisticuffs and diminished career prospects, but we decided it's a good time to out Hollywood's worst baby-name offenders. Be sure to check back soon for updates, since we're expecting big things from the likes of Courteney Cox and David Arquette, Beck and Marissa Ribisi, and Casey Affleck and Summer Phoenix ...
10. Rumer Glenn, Tallulah Belle and Scout LaRue, daughters of Bruce Willis and Demi Moore 9. Jett, son of John Travolta and Kelly Preston
8. Diezel and Denim, sons of Toni Braxton and Keri Lewis
7. Prince Michael, Prince Michael II (AKA Blanket), and Paris Michael, children of Michael Jackson
6. Speck Wildhorse and Hud, sons of John Mellencamp and Elaine Irwin
5. Pilot Inspektor, son of Jason Lee and Beth Riesgraf
4. Tu Morrow, daughter of Rob Morrow and Debbon Ayre (seriously)
3. Audio Science, son of Shannyn Sossamon and Dallas Clayton
2. Moon Unit, Ahmet Emuukha Rodan, Dweezil, and Diva, children of Frank Zappa
1. Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily, Fifi Trixibelle, Peaches Honeyblossom, and Pixie, daughters of the late Paula Yates (Tiger Lily's dad is the late Michael Hutchence; Bob Geldof is father to the other three)
Dishonorable Mention: Zowie (son of David Bowie -- he later changed his name to Joe before settling on Duncan); Elijah Bob Patricius Guggi Q (son of Bono), Banjo (son of Rachel Griffiths), Jaz (daughter of Andre Agassi and Steffi Graf), Romeo and Brooklyn (sons of url=/artist/?artist=240173]Victoria[/url] and David Beckham), Aurelius (son of Elle Macpherson), Lyric and Zephyr (daughter and son of Robby Benson), Hopper (son of Sean Penn and Robin Wright Penn), Kyd (son of David Duchovny and Tea Leoni), Reignbeau and Freedom (son and daughter of Ving Rhames), and (gulp) Jermajesty (son of Jermaine Jackson).

[/]

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Submitted by Meredith Bell on Tue, 05/18/2004 - 18:45.

Heh, I don't really mind Apple to be honest, in fact I used to have a rag doll called Apple, we were good friends and she went everywhere with me - well until I was about 5 anyway. And there are certainly worse names to inflict upon a little bundle of joy (there's an actress in England called Honeysuckle Weeks - how weird is that??)

Besides when little Apple is playing virtual tag in the virtual playground of her virtual school I doubt she'll be teased by the likes of Heavenly, Denim and Pixie.

Besides, it sure beats the bunch of Britney and Christina babies that all my friends have :?

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Submitted by Kaarin on Thu, 05/20/2004 - 21:26.

The following is either a press release or a very clever ad. I'm thinking the latter.

And maybe one of these days, I'll be able to get to sleep when tired :?

Quote:

Ambassador From Mars Receives 181,634 Spam Emails - Says "Earthlings Are Not Ready" and Takes First Available Saucer Back Home
Ambassador Edward Husmaphilpi, Age 432.7 years, returns home to Mars having failed to get a meeting with the President. "All I got was 181,634 spam-emails from a Mr Edwin FFenfenbacker telling me that there had been a security breach at my bank and asking me to send him my credit card and domain names details......Read on..

(PRWEB) May 19, 2004 -- Somewhere in America - On a secret mission from Mars, Ambassador Husmaphilpi arrived here last week to offer our world their most valuable commodity, The Reversable Anorak, in exchange for a two years supply of Golden Grahams (which at this time they do not have the license to produce).

Says Ambassador Husmaphilpi, "All I did was post my email address on one of your Internet Notice Boards with the official Martian greeting (ie, Take Me To Your Leader). Well, not only did I NOT get a reply from your President, instead I received 181,634 spam emails asking me for my bank and credit card details. I knew immediately that this was a fraud, because that's what my wife used to do whilst I was at work. Anyway, now she's doing 15 to 20......it was a total shock ..... although it saved me a fortune in divorce costs .... but I still love her..... (contd on page 99, problems page)

So, back to the story.....Mr Elwin Bagaaaaaaha, from the planet Saturn who would give his address only as "Hanger 47 somewhere in Nevada" was not amused at this snub to a fellow alien and said the Ambassador should have gone to dotWORLDS (www.dotworlds.net) as they alone could have prevented this travesty.

Mr Bagaaaaaaha, (who arrived here by starship in the year 1743) is one of a growing band of Earth residents using dotWORLDS domain names unspammable email addresses. With over 26 million .com domain names currently registered, many to speculators, he found relevant and memorable names were almost impossible to find. As a highly intelligent being, he realised that dotWORLDS has now released a very large range of potential domain names to the Internet to provide unlimited possibilities for all those who want personalization and easy-to-remember options.

Unfortunately however, back on Mars, news of the Ambassador's treatment on Earth was not being taken well (Mars is not a place you want to be anywhere near when something like this happens). To try and quell the growing unrest and rioting in Slemelvoster (the capital of Mars), Mr Bagaaaaaaha immediately presented Ambassador Husmaphilpi with a signed picture of Jessica Simpson and his very own dotWORLDS email address "edward @ambassador.mars".

Now, edward @ambassador.mars can email president @the.whitehouse, and ask him about Breakfast Cereal Technology. He may not get the leader of America (he might only get a specialist monthly magazine), but there is no way Ambassador Edward Husmaphilpi is ever going get any more spam emails.

So, Earthlings, get with the programme and you could be responsible for peace in the universe and the first ever Trade Agreement between the Earth and Mars. Go to www.dotworlds.net today, join the growing band of converts and get there FIRST!

dotWORLDS (www.dotworlds.net) building on the success of their Internet Communities is now giving away all their "Personality" domain names completely free to encourage more users to come aboard. Some of the totally free domain names currently on offer are ".cool", ".sexy", .genius and many more. To get these free domain names, simply visit www.dotworlds.net and select the "Personality" Radio Button for the complete list

Big News:
dotWORLDS spam free email system, currently being upgraded, will enable dotWORLDS domain owners to communicate both with each other and the outside world. Crucially however, the system has been designed to ensure that outside world of spam will not be able to reach any dotWORLDS domains. dotWORLDS looks now to be the only true spam free system around. See dotWORLDS website for full details. Free plug in required to view domains. Free unlimited and unspammable email addresses for every domain name as standard.

dotWORLDS Ltd is a UK company based in London that specializes in providing fully personalized internet domains and email addresses, offering the widest range, both free and paid, through its global infrastructure. Please see website for full details.

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Submitted by Disposable_Hero on Fri, 05/21/2004 - 11:51.

What Matt Has Learnt, brought to you by the power of LTHW (Learning The Hard Way) Inc.

1) Don't smoke weed at college kids...

2) Your last ever lesson in a particular subject means you will have no more ever, which means if you don't go, the teacher can't have a go at you...

3) BUT don't get cocky and knock on the window of the class you've just skipped thinking said teacher isn't in the room...

4) Shouting expletives in surprise is not a way to remain inconspicuos. Likewise, neither is running away very quickly...though the latter can aid you in escaping whatever wrath is coming your way, particularily if it is a teacher whose lesson you've just skipped...

5) That girl who you weren't that interested in is actually pretty cool. Finding out at the last minute when you'll probably never see her again, however, is not. (Neither, for that matter, is finding out that girl who you were quite interested in has a boyfriend...but thats a different matter).

6) (And this is a biggy) Sod's Law knows no bounds. So don't give it a reason to bite you in the arse.

Tune in next time for more important rules and lessons on What Matt Has Learnt.

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Submitted by Kaarin on Sat, 05/22/2004 - 10:31.

Mom is involved in Coonhound rescue. We've been trying for about 7 months to shut the bitch down, and we finally did it. Here's a link to the article.

Link to the Story

NOTES:
1) The count we have is different from the story. Our count is 28 dogs, plus 20 puppies.
2) 3 dogs had to be put down immediately. Yes, conditions were that bad.
3) The puppies have parvo. A number of them may not survive either.
4) The bloodhound in the second picture is named Fred.

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Submitted by Kaarin on Sat, 06/05/2004 - 12:51.

I just feel compelled to share that I love the smell of Frankenscence. Because it's one of the few things I can smell. The spider, however, disagrees with me. :)

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Submitted by Disposable_Hero on Sat, 06/12/2004 - 18:15.

Quote:

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rest can be a total mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Fcuknig amzanig huh?

Incredible...

And waths eevn mroe icernlidbe is taht it wrkos...

I'd also like to add that any warhammer/ex-warhammer/RTS fans anything like myself will be recieving near-orgasmic pleasure about this (as I, indeed, have been for the last few days):

dawnofwargame.com

Droooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool.....

No joke. Drool has actually been coming out of my mouth. In a 17min long trailer I have I saw a greater Daemon burst out of this guy, take apart a bunch of Marines Sauron-style and THEN get his arse-whipped by a Space Marine with a Thunder Hammer and it looked beautiful! The graphics are totally awesome and kick ass, and this is an RTS!

*Waits impatiently for demo/full game (preferably latter, will accept former)*

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Submitted by Blackthorn on Sun, 06/13/2004 - 08:32.

Half life 2 will kick its ass!

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Submitted by Meredith Bell on Sun, 06/13/2004 - 08:51.

*looks blank*

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Submitted by CryingKnight on Sun, 06/13/2004 - 09:19.

Except that Half life 2 is a FPS and doesn't need to animate half as many characters as Dawn of war. That being said I doubt it matters much.

Dawn of War does look exceedingly pretty but really it's the game play that counts. As for those wonderful graphics I have a question. What specification PC is going to be needed to run it. Another note is that in all probability like Relic's last exceedingly pretty RTS (Homeworld 2) you'll probably be too busy trying to stay on top of the game to actually sit back and watch the eye candy at least without having the A.I. mug you.

We'll see. I might even buy it...

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Submitted by Disposable_Hero on Sun, 06/13/2004 - 11:39.

From what I've heard the gameplay will be revolutionary. That can be taken two ways though, so yeah, will just have to (impatiently) wait and see...

Half-Life 2 indeed...pffft :P

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