Below is the result of your feedback form. It was submitted by
(blulightdragon@msn.com) on Thursday, December 11, 2003 at 19:28:53
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charname: Donaven Dover
race: Half human/Half Demon
gender: Male
bdate: October 31, 1942 Ireland, Dunhill
group: The order of Draconis
position: Warrior
descript: Age:64
Hair:brown
Eyes:emerald green
Height:5'10"
On the out side he looks like a normal human around 28 years of age. He looks in good physical condition but doesn't look like he can fight to well. His eyes are the only thing that percieves him as anything but human. They are a bright green and can be seen clearly in the darkest of places.
history: In the milddle of the second world war a witch and her demon husband awaited the hatching of their precious baby. His mother, Lillith, came from a long line of witches that have been fighting against The demons who wish to control and enslave humanity. His father, Kilerian, Comes from a race of demons, the T' ielargh, that people refered to as dragons. His people were shapeshifters and fought alongside the humans during many wars againist the P'llaragh. These demons were Also considered to be dragons of old but were unable to shift form. They were corrupted by black magics and deformed hideously. During the dimensional wars in Roanoke ,Virgina is where Lillith and Kilerian met and became smitten with each other. Lillith did not know of Kilerians true side until they had moved back to her home in Ireland. He was hesitant but during their wedding night his true form was revealed and she accepted him readily. Several years latter they awaited the birth of there child in a war torn land in hopes of uniting human and demon clans. They were found though by a pack of Solith hunters and were able to hide the baby away from them until the fight was over. The only one to walk away was Lillith , but she was injured badly during the fight. Lillith then turned to powers of the ancients to protect her child just as the first crack in the egg began. As the birth of her child began she finished the summoning and gazed upon the human baby with bright eyes of green that was her son. A flash of lightning bolted from the sky and before her stood a knight of silver and black steel. His eyes were the same as that of the child and his presence was one of warmth and comfort. As she faded into darkness the knight that had appeared picked her up from the ground, kissed her upon her forehead and said*the child shall be protected till his 21st year and then he must find his own destiny.*
The Child was then carried away by five druids dressed in brown cloaks with a symbol of an encircled dragon, wings expanded, biting his tale with the pentalcle within the circle. Thus the boys life of training in the magical arts begins.
Drawing upon his 21st year another war is being raged on a foreign shore and his travels around the world with his friend and teacher, Brendon of the blue, have showed him the best and worst of humanity. He has been warned that his 21st year holds something special for him and dangerous at the same time. On the eve of his birthday Brendon has him secluded in an abandoned mansion near the outskirts of New orleans and his fever has rose to an extreme temperature. Then it begins. Lightning begins to arc around the room as brendon makes ready for his charges transformation. He has been groomed for this day every since he was young but did not expect it to be this painful. Donavens body begins to strecth and expand as blu sacles the color of sapphire cover his body. his face extends and horns begin to grow from his head. A tail now protrudes from his lower back and wings start to emerge from his upper back. Teeth as sharp as razors form in his elongated snout and he can feel his serpintine tongue can alive with different oders and tastes. As the pain subsides he begins to clumsily stand to a towering height of at least 12 feet and as he stretches his wings from tip to tip that size is easily doubled.His tail crashes into a couple of small tables as it sways behind him and he has a surge of energy that he has never felt before.* This is your true form. You must not reveal it unless the need calls. For if you do you will be hunted and killed like your family. You are able to change forms when you like but it does take some time for the completion of it as you can see. In human form you are like everyone else with the exception of a faster healing ability but this also takes time. You are not invincible and you are immortal so don't rush into things that you are not able to handle. In your true from you are also vunerable but to only weapons formed from magic or demon blades.So now that you know this, change back because i am hungry and i am sure you are too!*
With this began Donaven's knowledge of his true form and all the disadvantages of it. Through the years he made mistakes and one led to the falll of his friend. He was careless and changed form, which was getting to be less painful but still hurt a lot, and went for a short flight. when he returned to Brendon and was quickly scolded for his little adventure. As Brendon started to explain why his flight was so bad a small pack of Solith hunters burst through the door of there old home and surrounded both of them. These beasts were the size of ponies and had black scales over their bodies. Their maws were mishappen and overloaded with teeth that were to large for their mouths. Horns protruded from all over their bodies and there deep red eyes were staring through both of them. As bredon turned to tell Donaven to fly, one of these creatures tore into his back as the other two ran towards Donaven. With a great leap Donaven soared through the roof of the mansion and he heard a sickening crack of flesh and teeth. His rage at a boiling point he feels a burning from deep in his chest and from his mouth a bright blue explosion of energy bursts into the two demon dogs and fries them beyond recognition. He rushes back down at the final demon dog on top of his friend grabs it between his mighty front claws. As the dog wrestles in his grip Donaven brings his back claws up and rakes through the scaliy flesh of the dogs underbelly as the red light of it's eyes dims to blackness. Flinging the dog to the side Donaven rushes to the side of his friends torn body. *Donaven you must leave this place and find solitude elsewhere. There is a city of Angels in this land. Find it and you will find another of your kind who can help you find answers. She was born with you as well as eleven others. She willl be able to help you for my jouney is att and en.......*
As Brendon's last breath escapes his body it slowly disappears. And then he is alone. In the distance a strange howling is heard and Donaven takes to the air until morning looking for the city of angels...
items: Long sword: A sword of black steel with a symbol of a dragon with wings outstretched biting it's tail with a pentacle inside the circle.
Dagger: a dagger of black steel;unmarked
Several throwing knives of black steel in a bandolier
colt .45: a stanard colt 45 pistol
Silver bullets: six magazines of 10 rounds of reloaded silver bullets.
Medallion: a strange medallion that has the same symbol as his sword.
powers: In human form he has advanced healing ability but it takes a few days for anything to completely heal.
Has the ability to transform into a dragon tha stands at 12' with a 24' wingspan. His tail is 8' feet in length and very strong. Claws hands and feet. Thick scales that can be harmed only by magic and demon borne weapons. Has abilty to fly. Excellent night sight as well as regular. Advanced senses of taste, smell and hearing. Has the ability to breath lightning as a weapon but it drains him of energy quicker. Has mastered several magical arts of healing and elemental magic specific to storms. Healing magic can do only so much though. Can not raise the dead or heal dismemberments.
played_by: Thomas Jane
player: I am 26 and in the United States Coast Guard and am very into RPGs. I am a serious Buffy and Angel fan and realy into mythology. I have been raised Wiccan and have practiced everysince I was a small child. I enjoy writing, poetry, cooking, anything with the outdoors, snowboarding and shooting. I am very into dragon mythology and have fifteen tattoos with more in the works. I love sailing the ocean and when I am inprot am always trying to find fun and interesting things to occupy my time. I usally go out to sea in between one to two months and most of the time have internet access but i will let you know if there will be a problem. My e-mail at work while i am out to sea is DDover@steadfast.uscg.mil So if there are any concerns or problems just send something to both addresses and i will respond as quickly as possible.
age: over13
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Character Proposal: Donaven Dover [Accepted]
While the character has an interesting background and the player obviously has plenty of ideas for dragons, dragon societies, dragon origins, and such I still can't seem to shake the feeling that its too much.
Is LABN ready for a dragon? Frankly I like the player's style but I would almost rather see a different kind of character...perhaps one with draconian family heritage rather than an actual dragon. It all seems so...mary sueish.
My suggestion is to tone it down a lot and re-imagine this character as a human (perhaps with some dragon blood deep in his family history) who is fighting the P'llaragh.
Lose the "great destiny" its overdone. Ditch the magecraft, everyone wants it and so few have it. We are overflowing with mage/witches right now.
In summary: I think there are alot of good ideas here, but a dragon? Hm...no, I don't think that our game could handle it. But if this person wants to give it another go, I'd be happy to take a look at it.
Character Proposal: Donaven Dover [Accepted]
I've only skimmed over it, will have a proper look later, but yeah, I have to agree. Turning into a 12' tall dragon is a but much...And I agree with most of the changs Dave said. Mainly, tone it down. Still, he seems to be a good writer...
Character Proposal: Donaven Dover [Accepted]
Maybe I'm biased because I'm somewhat of a dragon nut myself, but on the whole I really like Donaven. The impression I got from the description and the story was that he spends most of his time in human form and only shapeshifts to the dragon form when he needs to. In a city setting like Los Angeles there won't be many times when he can just change form and expect to go unnoticed - so I would imagine it would only happen when he was in dire need.
Dave mentioned that the "great destiny" was overdone - but I don't see any evidence of a "great destiny". His mother was told that the child would be protected until he was 21 and then he must 'find his own destiny', which I took to simply mean that he's on his own after that and has to look after himself.
The magecraft I don't mind too much either. Bear in mind we just lost one of our strongest sorcerers, and the way I read his power listing it looks like the magic only works when he's in dragon form. Maybe that was just bad organisation of words on the writer's part (whatever his name is), but he lists his powers in human form, then lists his powers in dragon form, and all the magic is listed at the end of the 'dragon' section.
So when it comes down to it this is what we have:
A human with rapid healing and few other powers - some nice weapons, but none of them magic, no personal magic, etc. But he can change into a dragon who is virtually invulnerable to weapons, can breathe lightning, has enhanced senses, is very strong, and can use healing and storm magic.
Now, some might say the dragon part is overdone, but think about it - he's in the middle of Los Angeles. How many times can he transform into a dragon before people start paying serious attention to him? I suspect he'll be spending most of his time in human form gathering information on the people he's trying to find.
LA may have several demon species already living there, but most of them are at least humanoid and they either travel via underground systems or if they have to go on the streets they tend to go cloaked and disguised. Non-humanoid demons have little choice but to stay in hiding most of the time.
If the guy who submitted this actually intended for Donaven to have magic powers in both human and dragon form, then even that's ok. His powers extend to healing and to storm magic. I can live with the occasional extra lightning strike in LA, and healers are always handy. :wink:
And maybe he was thinking along different lines for the dragon and intends to use the dragon form quite a bit in LA - well, that's easily remedied in story as well. Too many dragon sightings by the general populace suddenly leads to the interest of organisations like Majestic 12 and Balance and the Ministry of Magic - all of whom would come down on him like a ton of bricks when they find him. :)
However, there is one final consideration to worry about - space. Do we have the room for another new player? I've no idea... but I like his writing style, and I like his originality, and I'm a fan of dragons. If we can get some clarification on when and how he intends to use his shapeshifting abilities and whether or not he can use magic in one or both forms, then we can work out if we can shoehorn him into the game.
Character Proposal: Donaven Dover [Accepted]
all though i like this idea i think dave is right about it being too much and as everyone is concerned about number of players i would personally prefer to see sadia's friend start and maybe this guy if someone dops out before season four
Character Proposal: Donaven Dover [Accepted]
Ok I took a closer look. this is what i thought:
Like the background. A lot. Very detailed and interesting.
Although I still think it is a bit too much, I do agree with Heather. The player seems to understand this, and even includes this:
"You must not reveal it unless the need calls. For if you do you will be hunted and killed like your family...You are not invincible ". That says to me he wont be going all dragony all the time and taking advantage to 'god-mode'.
And it does say changing is painful...I assume that this means he wont be able to change/change back in quick sucession...
Actually, the more I read it the more I like it. If my assumption is true, then I guess I wouldn't have much wrong with it.
However, there is still the fact that he cannot be harmed in demon form but from magic and demon weapons. A little ott maybe? Possibly expand this list to include say blessed weapons, etc. One question I have though, will he be able to stand up to a tank shell? :P
I don't have anything against the mage part either. Like Heather said, we DID just lose Sorrow...
Perhaps still tone it down a bit...like I said; no rapid changing (if he hadn't already meant that), expand the list of harmful weapons slightly...
Otherwise...it's just the space issue... :?
Btw, SO tempted just to vote for 'I am hungry' :P
Character Proposal: Donaven Dover [Accepted]
i like it but it sa bit mary sue ish my only main beef is
THERE ARE TO MANEY FREKAIN IRISH IN THIS GAME
im done
Character Proposal: Donaven Dover [Accepted]
Hehe i know wat you mean....thats why the one hungry vote...:oops: at that time i was actually feeling hungry.....
on the side of the character i think it had a great depth in it...but at this time i would like to remain neutral...i like the charcter and the essense of dragons coming to labn....but as Dave stated, are we prepare to see dragons? If this charcter is accepted...hopefully labn won't become a Godzilla type backdrop.
Character Proposal: Donaven Dover [Accepted]
lol! tis funny actually... i think i was having a conversaation with heather a few weeks back trying to figure out what we currently don't have at the moment, and a dragon was one of those things!
tehe... ahem.... yes... anywhos, back to the hole *moseys off*
oh! ps. i should probs say that i agree with heather :oops: hehe (actually make this post more than just one of my random crappy comments) anywhos, what with me also being a great fan of dragons *SQWEEE* i quite liked this character and the dudes writing style... whatever else i say (along with everything else i've already said) will just be repeats of others. the main issue being space (once again, grr) DAMN YOU SPACE!... oookies... ahem... i think i'll be heading off to my hole already, then! *hides*
Character Proposal: Donaven Dover [Accepted]
I must say, I'm with Heather and Amanda. I do like the charecter, and a dragon is definately something we don't have. Granted, just not having something is not a reason to get it.
Am also tempted to agree with Dave in the whole ditching of magic thing. We really do have a number of mages in LA right now. But on the other hand, he doesn't have the 'standard' magical doohickies. More the druidic magic. Arrrrg!
My major concern is space. By my count, we have about 17 fully active players (posting to board recently), and 3-4 semi actives (either accepted and not posted yet, or are part of community but haven't been able to do game posts for whatever reason). This gives us somewhere around 20 or 21 people.
I'm skeptical that we can successfully integrate another person at this juncture, which is why if I had to choose, with say we can accept Saadia's friend (am sorry her name escapes me, but I just woke up and yet to have sufficient coffee). Hate to say it, but.... it's space that is ultimately doing him in for me. :(
Character Proposal: Donaven Dover [Accepted]
Pirate Druids now eh?
It could work...
(the pirate Druids that is heh....)
Character Proposal: Donaven Dover [Accepted]
Status: Waiting for Revision/Openings
tahnk you
I thank all of you who read my application and all the positive feed back. I understand about no space and am just happy to have so many people like the character's background. As far as clarification for the character: He can be hurt by blessed weapons and the process to change from human to dragon is an extremely painful one and not exactly one i like to take. i grew up as a human and that is the form that I prefer. My destiny is laid wide open. My only goal is to find the girl in LA that will help me find some truth and direction in life. So hopefully this helps clear some things up with the character and if there is no space right now i will understand. All i ask is that you keep me on the back burner and if a spot does open up then keep me in mind. Right now time is scarce for me to be online but i will be transfered to a land based unit in four months then i can devote a larger potion of time to the story. Thank you again.
P.S. Anything larger then a .50 cal round will hurt severly.
Character Proposal: Donaven Dover [Accepted]
For many of the same reasons that Simryn was allowed in, I am allowing in Donovan as well. He needs to register with the board and as soon as he is activated I'll lock this character discussion.
Character Proposal: Donaven Dover [Accepted]
welcome to the madhouse
Character Proposal: Donaven Dover [Accepted]
"Madhouse"? Why ever would you say such a thing, Jamie? :wink:
Character Proposal: Donaven Dover [Accepted]
I have no idea...
*recieves his latest injection, slips back into his straight jacket, and is put back in his padded cell*
Oh look! Fluffy clouds! Hehehehe...
Character Proposal: Donaven Dover [Accepted]
Haha, sucker! I just get pills when being slipped into my straightjacket. :wink:
Character Proposal: Donaven Dover [Accepted]
Pfft pills are for wooses.
Try a six-inch long needle oh yeah
Character Proposal: Donaven Dover [Accepted]
Needles are for the English. :P We Americans are so rocking the pill form. :roll:
Character Proposal: Donaven Dover [Accepted]
Oh yar! Needles, great, so much more interesting than a pill. As someone who has had more than her fair share of jabs with the ol' hypodermic, I'd highly reccomend it - especially when they miss the vein, stab into your muscle - really fun! Even better when the dosy cow has to take about 5 attempts just to draw blood.
Okay, well i think that's enough of my personal life hehe
Character Proposal: Donaven Dover [Accepted]
Yeah Meghan, that's cos you Yanks are a bunch of bloody wusses ;)
WELL, when I had my BSE jab, they must have missed and hit a nerve or something, because my index finger was twitching for like eighteen bloody hours.
Character Proposal: Donaven Dover [Accepted]
.... *kicks Matt in his shin and runs away* ....
Character Proposal: Donaven Dover [Accepted]
No fair, she ran away...
*throws Jamie's shoe at her*
Character Proposal: Donaven Dover [Accepted]
*Falls to the ground* Ouch... Revenge will be mine. :evil:
*throws Jamie's shoe back at Matt*
Character Proposal: Donaven Dover [Accepted]
*ducks under the rock*
Ha! Missed :P
Character Proposal: Donaven Dover [Accepted]
*dents the rock*
Character Proposal: Donaven Dover [Accepted]
.....
A line has been crossed...
(by the by, how the hell did you dent the rock? with a sledge hammer?)
(hmmm...we're crashing other people's topics lol :P)
Character Proposal: Donaven Dover [Accepted]
When you ducked, the shoe hit the rock...
Jamie's shoes are very powerful. :wink:
Character Proposal: Donaven Dover [Accepted]
Rock Ass Kicking Boots perhaps?
Character Proposal: Donaven Dover [Accepted]
Mortal ass-kicking shoes perhaps?
Character Proposal: Donaven Dover [Accepted]
HAHAHAHA MATTS ROCK GOT DENTED HAHAHA you go Meghan :P heheheheh :lol:
Character Proposal: Donaven Dover [Accepted]
Oh, so you want some too do ya?
*Lobs another of Jamie's shoes Saadia's way*
Put THAT in your pipe and smoke it ;)
Damn those shoes are strong...