Multiple Personality Disorder --- We Three Queens Disoriented Are
Amnesia --- I Don't Know if I'll be Home for Christmas
Narcissistic --- Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me
Manic --- Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and Fire Hydrants and ...
Paranoid --- Santa Claus is Coming to Get Me
Borderline Personality Disorder --- Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire
Full Personality Disorder --- You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll tell You Why
---------- Forwarded message ----------
From:
To: UMD-VNP@LISTSERV.UMD.EDU
Date: Sat, 31 Dec 2005 19:23:57 -0500
Subject: [UMD-VNP] VNP Alert:
It has been a while since there has been a viral/worm/security threat
unique enough to warrant an alert on the Virus Notification Program list.
However, there have been recent developments that require your attention.
This week it was learned that there is a flaw in the graphic rendering
engine used by recent versions of Microsoft Windows (98,2000,XP,2003). This flaw can result in the execution of programs embedded in WMF (Windows Metafile Format) files. Programs including Windows Explorer, Internet Explorer, MS Image and Fax Viewer,Outlook, and MS Paint can trigger the infected file. In the case of Windows Explorer, the virus can be executed if a thumbnail of the image is displayed. Infected files DO NOT need to have the .WMF file extension to be executed.
This evening it is being reported that an Internet Messenger based worm is propagating across the net by encouraging recipients to view a file with a .JPG extension. This file is in fact an infected WMF file.
There are other reports that infected WMF files have been posted on
numerous websites and spam e-mail is being sent that directs the unwary to those infected images.
McAfee, the producer of the VirusScan product distributed by the University
is reporting on its website that VirusScan Enterprise 8.0i (URL snip) will prevent malicious files from succeeding if opened by Internet Explorer or Windows Explorer (it doesn't mention other programs including MSPAINT).
In a bit of unintended humor, Wall Street closed Apple's stock Tuesday, the day the company unveiled its first Intel processor-based computers at Macworld, at $80.86.
That may mean nothing to the average person, but techies will no doubt catch the accidental reference to Intel's 8086, the 1978 processor that spawned the x86 architecture that PC users are so familiar with.
Now, it's pretty unlikely that Wall Street was able to manipulate Apple's share price, given the thousands upon thousands of people who no doubt bought and sold the stock Tuesday. But it's little coincidences like this that make technies and geeks sit up and take notice. Or at least I and the friend who pointed this out to me did.
1. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever.
2. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
3. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
4. The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
5. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.
6. Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.
7. Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies
the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
8. Chuck Norris' blood type is AK+. Ass-Kicking Positive. It is compatible only with heavy construction equipment, tanks, and fighter jets.
9. Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Indian.
10. In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
11. There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
One of my professors, Thomas Holtz, told us this morning that on the news this evening (American time), they will be talking about the new species of Tyrannosaur that he helped to identify, known from only two specimins in China.
At least CNN and the BBC will be carrying the story. USA today is supposed to be putting it on-line around 3pm as well.
Sorry for the bump Adam, this just HAD to be shared...
I like his ranking system of Crank, Crankier, Crankiest, and Illucid
Crank Dot Net: cranks on the net is devoted to presenting Web sites by and about cranks, crankism, crankishness, and crankosity. All cranks, all the time.
Every day at midnight, a new Crank o' the Day is chosen!
For a complete list of all the categories, both alphabetical and hierarchical, see the contents. There is also a What's new page, which lists all the cranks added in the last month.
Submitted by Meredith Bell on Mon, 03/27/2006 - 09:48.
I received this e-mail a couple of months ago from my sister after she'd attended a self-healing retreat. Reading it back then I was touched and also inspired to live my life better, to take it upon myself to be a better person - but to also accept myself for who I am. Now that Spring has officially arrived - a time for new beginings, I thought I'd share this with everyone.
Quote:
THE AWAKENING
A time comes in your life when you finally get it...when, in the midst of all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out - ENOUGH!
Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and begin to look at the world through new eyes.
This is your awakening.
You realize it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change...or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon.
You come to terms with the fact that neither of you is Prince Charming or Cinderella and that in the real world there aren't always fairy tale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you...and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.
You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are ... and that's OK. They are entitled to their own views and opinions.
And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself...and in the process a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval.
You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you (or didn't do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected. You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and that it's not always about you.
So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself...and in the process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance.
You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties...and in the process a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness.
You realize that much of the way you view yourself, and the world around you, is as a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche. And you begin to sift through all the junk you've been fed about how you should behave, how you should look, how much you should weigh, what you should wear, what you should do for a living, how much money you should make, what you should drive, how and where you should live, who you should marry, the importance of having and raising children, and what you owe your parents, family, and friends.
You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And you begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for. You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with ... and in the process you learn to go with your instincts.
You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive. And that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix.
You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life. You learn that you don't know everything, it's not your job to save the world and that you can't teach a pig to sing. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO.
You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake.
Then you learn about love.
How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk away. You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be.
You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes.
And you learn that alone does not mean lonely.
You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs. You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK....and that it is your right to want things and to ask for the things you want ... and that sometimes it is necessary to make demands.
You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity and respect and you won't settle for less. And you learn that your body really is your temple. And you begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin to eat a balanced diet, drink more water, and take more time to exercise.
You learn that being tired fuels doubt, fear, and uncertainty and so you take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul.
So you take more time to laugh and to play.
You learn that, for the most part, you get in life what you believe you deserve...and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy. You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen is different than working toward making it happen.
More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance.
You also learn that no one can do it all alone...and that it's OK to risk asking for help. You learn the only thing you must truly fear is the greatest robber baron of all: FEAR itself.
You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your own terms.
And you learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom.
You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions you learn not to personalize things. You learn that God isn't punishing you or failing to answer your prayers.
It's just life happening.
And you learn to deal with evil in its most primal state - the ego.
You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls.
You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower.
Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never, ever settle for less than your heart's desire.
And you hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind.
And you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.
Finally, with courage in your heart and God by your side you take a stand, you take a deep breath, and you begin to design the life you want to live as best you can.
"Among his other activities, Woz [Apple Computer co-founder Steve Wozniak] collects phone numbers, and his longtime goal has been to acquire a number with seven matching digits.... After more months of scheming and waiting, he had it: 888-8888. This was his new cell-phone number, and his greatest philonumerical triumph.
The number proved unusable. It received more than a hundred wrong numbers a day. Given that the number is virtually impossible to misdial, this traffic was baffling. More strange still, there was never anybody talking on the other end of the line. Just silence. Or, not silence really, but dead air, sometimes with the sound of a television in the background, or somebody talking softly in English or Spanish, or bizarre gurgling noises. Woz listened intently.
Then, one day, with the phone pressed to his ear, Woz heard a woman say, at a distance, "Hey, what are you doing with that?" The receiver was snatched up and slammed down.
Suddenly, it all made sense: the hundreds of calls, the dead air, the gurgling sounds. Babies. They were picking up the receiver and pressing a button at the bottom of the handset. Again and again. It made a noise: "Beep beep beep beep beep beep beep."
The children of America were making their first prank call.
Aww! That's so cute! Luckily he just had the number for his collection--if anyone actually had to use that number for their home or cell phone, it would get quite annoying...
As someone who has purchased books by Pope Benedict XVI, you might like to know that God Is Love: Deus Carnitas Est will be released soon. You can pre-order your copy at a savings of 35% by following the link below.
*Deus Carnitas Est*? Hehe. Obviously they meant to say "Deus Caritas Est" (God is Love). Bad Latin spell checker or something?
Just for fun, I've hax0r3d the book's jacket description, replacing the term "love" with "meat" and the term "charity" with "chitlins":
Everyone needs meat. Everyone desires meat. But not everyone understands meat. In fact, meat is probably the most misunderstood subject in history.
In his first Encyclical, Pope Benedict helps to clarify the meaning of meat. He examines the nature of various kinds of meat —- human meat and divine meat, eros, friendship, and chitlins. He writes beautifully and inspirationally of how man was made for meat by the God who is meat, the God who became one of us out of meat —- Jesus Christ.
In the second part of the Encyclical, Benedict addresses the Church's practice of meat. He examines the relationship between justice and chitlins, as well as the call of every Catholic to serve others in meat. The Pope's "meat letter" to mankind is remarkably accessible and timely.
Post to Twitter
For Heather
A fellow Aussie maintains this blog. Funny, funny woman.
http://thehotlibrarian.blogspot.com/
I've spit milk through my nose laughing.
Things We Feel Compelled to Share
I should really stop reading Piled Higher and Deeper and go back to work....
http://www.phdcomics.com/comics/archive.php?comicid=592
This one is just amusing. :)
Things We Feel Compelled to Share
A facinating essay on Origins of Religion
Things We Feel Compelled to Share
And you people called me paranoid. Well, I'm not the one who wants to hold hearings into establishing relations with extra-terrestrials, am I?
Things We Feel Compelled to Share
http://www.vidlit.com/craziest/craziest.html
Some people take their games WAY too seriously.
Christmas Carols for the Psychologically Challenged
- Schizophrenia --- Do You Hear What I Hear?
- Multiple Personality Disorder --- We Three Queens Disoriented Are
- Amnesia --- I Don't Know if I'll be Home for Christmas
- Narcissistic --- Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me
- Manic --- Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and Fire Hydrants and ...
- Paranoid --- Santa Claus is Coming to Get Me
- Borderline Personality Disorder --- Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire
- Full Personality Disorder --- You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll tell You Why
- Obsessive Compulsive Disorder ---Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells ...
- Agoraphobia --- I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day But Wouldn't Leave My House
- Senile Dementia --- Walking in a Winter Wonderland Miles From My House in My Slippers and Robe
- Oppositional Defiant Disorder --- I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus So I Burned Down the House
[/]I Love The Fat Man!
This has to be the funniest christmas message that I've seen. I love and totally agree with it, lets rid the world of neo-yuppie scum-bags!! :D
Neurotically Yours
Things We Feel Compelled to Share
See! They DO look the same
Things We Feel Compelled to Share
Because People Will Beleive Anything
http://www.chappelletheory.com
Things We Feel Compelled to Share
Facinating stuff. Jack and Jill went up the hill...
Things We Feel Compelled to Share
---------- Forwarded message ----------
From:
To: UMD-VNP@LISTSERV.UMD.EDU
Date: Sat, 31 Dec 2005 19:23:57 -0500
Subject: [UMD-VNP] VNP Alert:
It has been a while since there has been a viral/worm/security threat
unique enough to warrant an alert on the Virus Notification Program list.
However, there have been recent developments that require your attention.
This week it was learned that there is a flaw in the graphic rendering
engine used by recent versions of Microsoft Windows (98,2000,XP,2003). This flaw can result in the execution of programs embedded in WMF (Windows Metafile Format) files. Programs including Windows Explorer, Internet Explorer, MS Image and Fax Viewer,Outlook, and MS Paint can trigger the infected file. In the case of Windows Explorer, the virus can be executed if a thumbnail of the image is displayed. Infected files DO NOT need to have the .WMF file extension to be executed.
This evening it is being reported that an Internet Messenger based worm is propagating across the net by encouraging recipients to view a file with a .JPG extension. This file is in fact an infected WMF file.
There are other reports that infected WMF files have been posted on
numerous websites and spam e-mail is being sent that directs the unwary to those infected images.
McAfee, the producer of the VirusScan product distributed by the University
is reporting on its website that VirusScan Enterprise 8.0i (URL snip) will prevent malicious files from succeeding if opened by Internet Explorer or Windows Explorer (it doesn't mention other programs including MSPAINT).
As of this moment, Microsoft DOES NOT have a security update to address
this vulnerability. The Microsoft Advisory link for this problem is:
http://www.microsoft.com/technet/security/advisory/912840.mspx
For a non Microsoft viewpoint, also see the US-CERT website:
http://www.us-cert.gov/cas/techalerts/TA05-362A.html
*snip*
Things We Feel Compelled to Share
AHAHA!!!!
Nina Gordon's interpretation of NWA's Straight Outta Compton
Apple's share price an in-joke for Intelites
January 10, 2006 5:26 PM PST
In a bit of unintended humor, Wall Street closed Apple's stock Tuesday, the day the company unveiled its first Intel processor-based computers at Macworld, at $80.86.
That may mean nothing to the average person, but techies will no doubt catch the accidental reference to Intel's 8086, the 1978 processor that spawned the x86 architecture that PC users are so familiar with.
Now, it's pretty unlikely that Wall Street was able to manipulate Apple's share price, given the thousands upon thousands of people who no doubt bought and sold the stock Tuesday. But it's little coincidences like this that make technies and geeks sit up and take notice. Or at least I and the friend who pointed this out to me did.
From Here: http://news.com.com/2061-10793_3-6025604.html?tag=techdirt
Things We Feel Compelled to Share
*Looks around only to see tumbleweeds passing by*
Hello? Anyone out there?
*Cricket Cricket*
Things We Feel Compelled to Share
Ain't nobody here but us chickens!
Things We Feel Compelled to Share
It's like I'm with a Divotchka. In and out, in and out...
Things We Feel Compelled to Share
This is So Cool....http://metaatem.net/words/LateNightGames
Things We Feel Compelled to Share
I did not know that...
1. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever.
But wait! There's more! http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/ [/]2. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
3. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
4. The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
5. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.
6. Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.
7. Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies
the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
8. Chuck Norris' blood type is AK+. Ass-Kicking Positive. It is compatible only with heavy construction equipment, tanks, and fighter jets.
9. Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Indian.
10. In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
11. There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
Things We Feel Compelled to Share
Seems I look like Anne Frank!!
My Heritage
Things We Feel Compelled to Share
One of my professors, Thomas Holtz, told us this morning that on the news this evening (American time), they will be talking about the new species of Tyrannosaur that he helped to identify, known from only two specimins in China.
At least CNN and the BBC will be carrying the story. USA today is supposed to be putting it on-line around 3pm as well.
Things We Feel Compelled to Share
Sorry for the bump Adam, this just HAD to be shared...
I like his ranking system of Crank, Crankier, Crankiest, and Illucid
Crank Dot Net: cranks on the net is devoted to presenting Web sites by and about cranks, crankism, crankishness, and crankosity. All cranks, all the time.
Every day at midnight, a new Crank o' the Day is chosen!
For a complete list of all the categories, both alphabetical and hierarchical, see the contents. There is also a What's new page, which lists all the cranks added in the last month.
Pigs Have Flown
Every American needs to see this
The Awakening
I received this e-mail a couple of months ago from my sister after she'd attended a self-healing retreat. Reading it back then I was touched and also inspired to live my life better, to take it upon myself to be a better person - but to also accept myself for who I am. Now that Spring has officially arrived - a time for new beginings, I thought I'd share this with everyone.
8 is for Apple
By Wired News Staff 02:00 AM Mar, 30, 2006
Things We Feel Compelled to Share
Aww! That's so cute! Luckily he just had the number for his collection--if anyone actually had to use that number for their home or cell phone, it would get quite annoying...
Things We Feel Compelled to Share
Except that it was his cellphone number - hence the hundreds of calls he got.
If you had just one wish...
...would it be to own a demonic teddy bear?
click picture for more information
Maybe a Malevolent Minnie Mouse?
click picture for more information
Things We Feel Compelled to Share
"New Zealand is Not For Sale," eBay says
"God is Meat"
As someone who has purchased books by Pope Benedict XVI, you might like to know that God Is Love: Deus Carnitas Est will be released soon. You can pre-order your copy at a savings of 35% by following the link below.
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1586171631/ref=pe_snp_631/104-5162780-3...
*Deus Carnitas Est*? Hehe. Obviously they meant to say "Deus Caritas Est" (God is Love). Bad Latin spell checker or something?
Just for fun, I've hax0r3d the book's jacket description, replacing the term "love" with "meat" and the term "charity" with "chitlins":
In his first Encyclical, Pope Benedict helps to clarify the meaning of meat. He examines the nature of various kinds of meat —- human meat and divine meat, eros, friendship, and chitlins. He writes beautifully and inspirationally of how man was made for meat by the God who is meat, the God who became one of us out of meat —- Jesus Christ.
In the second part of the Encyclical, Benedict addresses the Church's practice of meat. He examines the relationship between justice and chitlins, as well as the call of every Catholic to serve others in meat. The Pope's "meat letter" to mankind is remarkably accessible and timely.
It works, yes? Maybe Amazon is on to something?
FOUND:http://christophedumas.livejournal.com/77853.html
WOW, I need a new drug...
Who says you can't take it with you?
Things We Feel Compelled to Share
For some reason the Internet took a surreal turn today...
Things We Feel Compelled to Share
Random pictures from the photobucket account of a friend of mine -