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Who says there aren't any Super heroes (or Super Villains)

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Submitted by MrDave on Mon, 10/20/2003 - 14:40
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In Edmonton, Alberta, in July, Bill Sokolik pleaded guilty to a 2002 robbery that went down this way: He had wrapped his head in gauze, covered his face with silicon putty and rouge (and oversized glasses), grabbed a Samurai sword, walked into a Jehovah's Witnesses hall, and screamed, "I am the evil that you have read about! This is the face of evil!" He was in the middle of collecting cash and credit cards from everyone when the police arrived. (A psychiatrist had testified that Sokolik had run out of medication several days before.) [Edmonton Journal, 8-1-03]

A man fled the motor vehicles office in Leesburg, Va., after a September incident in which he, silently and calmly, presented a DMV employee with a postcard photograph of a banana being shot by a bullet, and the legend "banana=DMV." The man then hurried out, and when several employees got to the parking lot in pursuit, there were bananas strewn around the lot but no one in sight. Said the Leesburg police chief, "This (man) is a different (kind)." [Leesburg Today, 9-4-03]

Alongside recent weight-loss and body-part-growth mass e-mails have been messages of Robert Todino, 22, of Woburn, Mass., who uses the spam (100 million messages so far) to locate time-travel hardware to buy because of his need to revisit his childhood, during which he believes a woman drugged him and implanted a device to give her followers the ability to monitor his every move. According to an August Wired magazine story, Todino has earnestly been seeking an "Acme 5X24 series time transducing capacitor with built-in temporal displacement" and an "AMD Dimensional Warp Generator module containing the GRC79 induction motor," among other gadgets, but that "the conspiracy" has subverted his attempts to acquire them. [Wired, 8-29-03]

A man, so far unidentified, created a frenzy in London in September when he began offering a free call-in service in which he (dressed in a full "superhero" costume of colorful tights, cape and mask), armed with a metal-cutting circular saw, would dispatch himself to help motorists whose cars had been immobilized by unpopular, police-installed wheel clamps (called in many American cities the "Denver boot"). "Angle Grinder Man," with a Web site and hotline number, said he had freed 12 cars so far and doesn't mind breaking the law because it's a "public service." "And I like wearing the costume." [CNN-Reuters, 9-18-03]

‹ Things We Felt Compelled To Share

Who says there aren't any Super heroes (or Super Villains)

Submitted by Mike on Mon, 10/20/2003 - 17:38.
Mike's picture

8O

that's all just: 8O

Who says there aren't any Super heroes (or Super Villains)

Submitted by Meredith Bell on Mon, 10/20/2003 - 18:56.
Meredith Bell's picture

This is crazy, I'm sure I remember seeing something about the guy who was offering the wheel clamp removal service. I'm pretty sure he got taken to court, it being illegal to remove a wheel clamp. Though in my opinion he should have been knighted! :D

Who says there aren't any Super heroes (or Super Villains)

Submitted by Kaarin on Mon, 10/20/2003 - 18:59.
Kaarin's picture

LOL!

Someone hire Old Tully for his defence oration. :)

Who says there aren't any Super heroes (or Super Villains)

Submitted by MrDave on Tue, 10/21/2003 - 14:07.
MrDave's picture

Who says there aren't any Super heroes (or Super Villains)

Submitted by Mike on Tue, 10/21/2003 - 20:39.
Mike's picture

HA-HA!!! Yeah, I just saw that today also. I love non-Sequiter!!!!

Who says there aren't any Super heroes (or Super Villains)

Submitted by MrDave on Thu, 12/11/2003 - 14:56.
MrDave's picture

Anyone need a meta-canine sidekick?

Quote:
Unwanted dog cheats death four times

An unwanted dog which was put down with drugs, put in a plastic bag and then through a rubbish compressor has been found alive moments before being buried in a landfill site.

The five-year-old shepherd-Labrador cross was found clawing through the plastic bag on the back of a rubbish truck at the Edgeboro Landfill in East Brunswick, New Jersey.

Officials say an animal control officer gave the dog two injections, one to sedate it, the other to stop its heart.

He listened with a stethoscope for a heartbeat, and on not hearing one, placed the body in a plastic bag.

The dog had been taken to animal control officers by a woman who said she could no longer care for it.

"Obviously, it's a miracle," a spokesman for the animal control department said. "It's just amazing it lived through that whole mess."

Fifty-seven people have contacted the East Brunswick dog pound, where the animal is being cared for, to offer it a home, reports the News Tribune.

Who says there aren't any Super heroes (or Super Villains)

Submitted by Disposable_Hero on Thu, 12/11/2003 - 17:33.
Disposable_Hero's picture

OMG! It's a Rasputin Dog!

Who says there aren't any Super heroes (or Super Villains)

Submitted by MrDave on Mon, 12/15/2003 - 11:48.
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Want to be a Super Hero?
http://www.thewavemag.com/pagegen.php?pagename=article&articleid=24363

Who says there aren't any Super heroes (or Super Villains)

Submitted by Heather on Mon, 12/15/2003 - 15:31.
Heather's picture

Ooh, you'd better watch out - I might have mastered unseen energy forceblasts by the time you get home, Dave. :) I'll just sit over here and meditate, apologising for each of my naughty body parts... Hmm, on second thoughts, this could take a while...

Who says there aren't any Super heroes (or Super Villains)

Submitted by Heather on Mon, 12/15/2003 - 15:36.
Heather's picture

Quote:
Astral warriors interested in skin care, take note: The author warns you 18 times during the course of this book that battling deadly astral spirits can cause skin blemishes. Now you have two choices: Explain to your friends that these are battle scars from dream combat, or as the author recommends, draw on them with a ballpoint pen to make them disappear. It’s never made clear whether this groundbreaking skin treatment works on regular acne or just acne you get from fighting ghosts.


ROFL

*Wipes tears from eyes.*

Stop, stop, please. If I laugh any more I'm going to rupture something...

Who says there aren't any Super heroes (or Super Villains)

Submitted by MrDave on Tue, 12/16/2003 - 19:49.
MrDave's picture

Want your own custom action figure?
http://herobuilders.com/

WARNING: This guy has alarmingly right-wing politics...

Who says there aren't any Super heroes (or Super Villains)

Submitted by MrDave on Thu, 04/22/2004 - 10:30.
MrDave's picture

Batman And Robin...in England?

http://www.getreading.co.uk/story.asp?intid=9314

Who says there aren't any Super heroes (or Super Villains)

Submitted by Heather on Thu, 04/22/2004 - 11:16.
Heather's picture

Uh... broken link?

Who says there aren't any Super heroes (or Super Villains)

Submitted by MrDave on Thu, 04/22/2004 - 20:17.
MrDave's picture

Try this one:
http://www.getreading.co.uk/story.asp?intid=9314 it has the picture.
go here: http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_925718.html
do a search under "Local News" for 'Batman'
You should see the link.

and if it still doesn't work, this one:

http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_925718.html

Who says there aren't any Super heroes (or Super Villains)

Submitted by MrDave on Mon, 11/15/2004 - 12:05.
MrDave's picture

Fast Times at Super Hero High

Who says there aren't any Super heroes (or Super Villains)

Submitted by MrDave on Thu, 04/20/2006 - 16:13.
MrDave's picture

http://mountainofjudgment.blogspot.com/2006_03_12_mountainofjudgment_arc...

Quote:

Bush Names New Interior Secretary
right
WASHINGTON — President Bush nominated infinitely rapacious cosmic entity Galactus on Thursday to be his new interior secretary.

If confirmed by the Senate, Galactus, 11 Billion, will replace Gale Norton, who resigned last week.

Bush said Galactus, Third Force of the Universe and Devourer of Worlds, wields the Power Cosmic and has broad experience needed for eating the 388 parks of the National Park system, 544 wildlife refuges and more than 260 million acres of multiple-use lands located mainly in 12 Western states, in addition to the rest of the planet.

"Galan understands that those who live closest to the land know how to manage it best, and he will begin preparations to digest our planet immediately," Bush said.

Galactus promised to construct giant machines in the heart of Manhattan in order to "suck the very essence from the land and consume the natural resources with which your planet has been blessed."

His chances of Senate confirmation are greatly increased by his godlike endurance, immesurable intelligence, omnipotence and possession of the Ultimate Nullifier. The Senate rarely turns down cosmic beings of utter destruction, and Republicans hold the majority with 55 of 100 seats.

"Galactus is a strong nominee," said Majority Leader Bill Frist, R-Tenn. "I look forward to his swift confirmation by the Senate."

His nomination drew quick criticism from some environmentalists.

Barbara Miller, a citizen activist in northern Idaho who has fought for decades to get more health screening for local people affected by historic lead and zinc pollution from the Bunker Hill Mine, said Galactus has an interest in eating the planet Earth, at the expense of the environment.

For example, after the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) moved to earmark hundreds of square miles downstream from Bunker Hill for toxic cleanup, Miller said, Galactus ate the Skrull homeworld, killing billions of living beings to slake his endless, gnawing hunger.

Galactus then successfully lobbied the White House to have his own herald, Terrax the Tamer, appointed to head the EPA office that oversees Washington, Oregon, Alaska and Idaho.

Still, Rick Johnson, executive director of the Idaho Conservation League, said "it definitely could have been worse--say Thanos or Death herself--and, given who he works for, it would not have been better."

And he said Galactus is not as ideologically tied to logging, mining or grazing as his predecessor, although he does consider humans as akin to ants.

[/]

Cops dress as Batman and Robin to catch Drugs Suspect

Submitted by MrDave on Mon, 11/13/2006 - 17:24.
MrDave's picture

Cops dress as Batman and Robin to catch Drugs Suspect

Quote:
Two policemen dressed as Batman and Robin captured a suspected drugs offender - in a bizarre sting operation.

The Dynamic Duo - Sgt Tony Smith and PC Mike Holman - pulled on the superhero outfits in a bid to unsettle the suspected baddies.

They pretended to be drunks looking for a fancy dress party and knocked on the door of the suspect's home.

Those inside refused to answer the door to the loud, comically dressed visitors - which was what the officers wanted.

Batman and Robin then went around the back of the property in Weymouth, Dorset, while seven uniformed officers went to the front door.

Those inside the house were PLEASED to see the policemen and complained to them about the fancy dress drunks. They then invited the officers in.

However, one of the men inside the house ran out of the back door on seeing the policeman - to where the superheroes were waiting for him.

Batman - Sgt Smith - gave chase, jumped over a fence and BIFF, POW, THWACK, arrested him.

PC Kevin Eames, said: "The people opened the door immediately and said that they had been alarmed by some drunken people in fancy dress in their garden.

"So the ruse was successful and we were let in."

Sgt Smith added: "Last year police officers dressed up as carol singers, which worked well.

"This was my first costumed acting experience.

"The Batman costume was quite comfortable and not too restricting. I still managed to jump over the fence.

"But it was difficult finding somewhere to put my CS spray. There was nowhere for the handcuffs, but then Batman does not need handcuffs."

PC Eames said: "The bad thing about the operation is that we had to endure hours of terrible puns from PC Holman."

A man aged 22 has been arrested and charged with a drugs offence. He is bailed to appear before Weymouth magistrates.

There were no charges against two other men found at the property.

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