A few months ago, a friend asked me to write a short comic book script for him so he could practice his sequential art techniques. Just came across it today and figured I'd share. Nothing earth-shattering, but it was fun :)
For reference, if there's a number after a name/title, it just means an additional speech balloon for that character or an additional caption box (i.e. CAP2 would be the second caption box in the panel and JIM3 would be my third speech balloon in the panel).
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PATH OF THE NINJA
by James R. Harnock
based on characters created by Kevin Eastman & Peter Laird
PAGE-1/PANEL-1: Night. An establishing shot of a city. The moon hovers low in the sky and the atmosphere is slightly foggy.
CAP1: THE CITY AT NIGHT.
CAP2: SOME CITIES NEVER SLEEP. THIS ONE IS TRAPPED IN A PERPETUAL NIGHTMARE.
Pg-1/Pn-2: We look down on the street from a rooftop. In our line of sight, we can see TWO THUGS harassing a YOUNG WOMAN.
CAP1: THE DANCE NEVER ENDS, NEVER CHANGES. PREY ON
THE WEAK, THEN BOAST ABOUT HOW TOUGH YOU ARE.
CAP2: MAKES ME WANT TO EITHER LAUGH OR VOMIT. NOT
SURE WHICH.
Pg-1/Pn-3: Street-level. The two thugs shove the young woman around, looking like they're enjoying tormenting her.
CAP: ALSO MAKES ME WONDER WHY THE SPECIES ISN'T
EXTINCT YET.
Pg-1/Pn-4: CU on the terrified girl's face.
CAP: I SEE THE TERROR IN HER EYES...
Pg-1/Pn-5: CU on the predatory thugs.
CAP: ...AND THE HUNGER IN THEIRS...
Pg-1/Pn-6: On the street, a dramatic shot of LEONARDO, the ninja turtle. He stands under a streetlight, swords drawn, mostly in shadow,
lit from above.
CAP: ...AND I DECIDE TO STEP IN.
LEO1: I'M GONNA COUNT TO THREE. IF YOU'RE STILL HERE
WHEN I'M DONE...
LEO2: ...WELL, DO YOU REJECTS KNOW WHAT "CARNAGE"
MEANS?
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PAGE-2/PANEL-1: CU on Leonardo, backlit. His sword blades sparkle under the street lamp's glow.
CAP: THEY CALL ME FREAK.
LEO: ONE.
Pg-2/Pn-2: MS of the thugs, brandishing knives and looking like they're yelling obscenities.
CAP: THEY POSTURE AND STRUT AND THREATEN ALL KINDS
OF GRIEVOUS BODILY HARM.
LEO (OP): TWO.
Pg-2/Pn-3: ECU of Leo, grinning like a maniac.
CAP: ME? HELL, I CAN'T STOP SMILING.
LEO: THREE.
Pg-2/Pn-4: Leo springs into action, cutting one thug's knife hand off.
Pg-2/Pn-5: The other thug pulls a gun and points it in Leo's direction.
CAP: A GUN...?
Pg-2/Pn-6: The thug looks scared to death as he fires three rounds at Leo.
SFX: BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!
Pg-2/Pn-7: Leo stands in his place, unharmed -- did the thug shoot wide or did Leo dodge all three bullets?
LEO: GUNS ARE FOR PUSSIES.
Pg-2/Pn-8: In silouhette, we see Leo decapitate the gun-toting thug.
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PAGE-3/PANEL-1: Leo stands over the mess he's created. He's looking over at the shocked young woman he's just saved.
CAP1: HRMPH. NOT MUCH OF A FIGHT.
CAP2: I'M BETTER THAN THIS.
LEO: YOU ALL RIGHT?
Pg-3/Pn-2: The young woman stares at him, her eyes wide.
YNG WMN: WHAT ARE YOU?!?
LEO1: I'M A TURTLE, STUPID.
LEO2: GO HOME -- THESE STREETS AREN'T SAFE AT NIGHT.
LEO3: OBVIOUSLY.
Pg-3/Pn-3: Interior of an industrial warehouse. Dozens of FOOT ninja surround a makeshift stage where GOJIRA makes a speech. In the
background, we see a huge human figure in the shadows.
CAP: MEANWHILE...
GOJIRA1: OUR TIME HAS COME, MY BROTHERS!
GOJIRA2: THE FOOT CLAN WILL RISE AGAIN, AND THIS CITY
SHALL BE OUR FIRST CONQUEST!
FOOT: YEAH!
GOJIRA3: ONCE WE WERE BROKEN, BUT NO MORE WILL WE
HIDE FROM SIGHT! NO MORE WILL WE BOW TO OUR
INFERIORS! WE WERE BROKEN, BUT NOW WE ARE
WHOLE -- BECAUSE OUR MASTER HAS RETURNED TO US!
GOJIRA4: ALL HAIL...
Pg-3/Pn-4: The huge human figure emerges from the shadows -- it is SHREDDER, fearsome leader of the Foot Clan.
GOJIRA: ...SHREDDER!!
FOOT: SHREDDER! SHREDDER! SHREDDER!
SHREDDER: IT IS TIME. GO, MY NINJA. CRUSH THOSE WHO WOULD OPPOSE THE FOOT CLAN!
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Path of the Ninja
Cool. :) When your friend's done the artwork, any chance of us getting a peek at that, too? I really loved some of the imagery you described.
The only thing I'd maybe change is the very start. (I hope you don't mind a little constructive criticism, here.) "The city at night" seems a little redundant - we can see the city, and we can see that it's night. But using the "Some cities never sleep..." caption as an opener makes a great impact. Try reading it to yourself starting with that second caption and I think you'll see what I mean.