Submitted by Allyana on Sun, 11/20/2005 - 10:52
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I'm sorry i'm taking so long to comment on your proposal, Jamie. I'm waiting for Dave to finish his editing :oops: . I like the planet history so far.
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Vish Comments
Upon glancing down the proposal, it seems cool. Lots of imaginative action. But I'll wait, if there's going to be editing done. (AAARGH! My eyes! All one big paragraph! :lol:) I think you might get a lot of life out of the dragon imagery, and the raging seas of his homeworld are an interesting contrast--fire and water. I'll check back later; I'm intrigued (especially by this Sith teaching machine...brrrr!....I'm almost certain that's what they used on me in the 2nd grade).
Vish Comments
Okay, I finally waded through it all ang got it edited. Phew! I could tell you were getting into it as you went, Jamie. At times you were just pounding out the prose there. I addd the note about the Dragon Armor since you hadn't elaborated. I figured what I wrote was fair.