Well guys, I've been in uni for nearly a week now, and I've gotta say I'm having an incredible time (week long bender, anyone?). Sheffield is an awesome city, the guys and girls in my hall and on my corridoor are really cool and friendly and I'm actually looking forward to lectures starting so I can get some structure (and sleep lol).
Anyway, as I was just explainging to SHaun, although I leave MSN on most of the time I'm not always there (As you've probably realised by now). Generally if I'm not sleeping or at an intro event, I'm at the bar or getting to know the people on my corridoor. As next week I'll be settling in to lectures, and then seminars the week after, I'm thinking it may be a good idea to take a little hiatus from LABN and SW till I get myself properly sorted. Sorry to anyone who's been waiting on me for anything and all those half-finished collabs :S
I'll see how next week goes and if I'm still all over the place then I'll throw a few things together to cover Corin and Kyle until I'm back together again.
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Hey Hey
So yeah, about time I said something officaly. And I feel bad. :(
Why do I feel bad?
Well, about 4-5months ago we started a new game and I (excuse the ego here) created a semi-prominent character (Corin). Then, just a short time later during the LABN season 5 plot discussion, I got majorly involved in the HUGE screw up that resulted in lots of headaches and name calling (still sorry about that, btw :().
Then, for three months, I do nothing. Well, actually, that isn't strictly true. I drunk a lot, read a lot, and wrote a lot (and slept a lot less)... unfortunately none of it was directed towards LABN or SW. Then I promise people that when I get back from uni for xmas, I'd write something. Well, here I am, about to start my last week at home, and so far all I've managed is a couple of paragraphs on Saturday after Lou, Ally and Adam ambushed me.
So after blowing my trumpet a bit and kicking up a lot of fuss, I screwed over everyone who was counting on me for the following seasons of both games.
I could throw up the excuses that I had sooo little time to actually write anything, that I was sick of writing and reading, and that arranging a time to collab would be hell (which, in fact, are actually all valid excuses) but I still feel bad and tbh a major part of that is my own fault. I could, should, have made time. The fact is - and its a fact I didn't want to accept for aaaages and wanted to put off for as long as possible - is that I don't have that time anymore. When I started playing LABN I was a bit of a loser. Well, a lot actually :P My social life was going nowhere. I spent most of my time cooped up in my room on my pc. I had nothing really going on besides school 8:30-3, Monday-Friday. That's a lot of free time. I used to fill it with LABN. Then I hit college. Then I start hanging out after school. I partied. I went to the movies. I watched marathon re-runs of Buffy, Angel, Stargate, Shaman King, etc, etc. I got a job. The time spent at my pc with nothing else to do decreased significantly.
Now, I find myself in uni, where I spend more time with other people than I do on my own. I find that I can't do what I used to do only two years ago. I can't sit at my laptop for hours on end, day after day, with little human contact. I don't have the time to do that anymore. I'm not that person anymore.
Which brings me back to the point of this little ramble. If it hasn't become clear to all of you - which it probably has by now - its finally become clear to me. I can't keep up with LNG anymore. I've read about two posts in the last three months at Shaun's insistence. I've written four paragraphs in the last three months at Ally, Lou and Adam's insistence. As much as I've enjoyed LABN (and more recently SW), as much as I've wasted away hours in class daydreaming about it, as much as I've schemed about it and had fun and met amazing people through it - I'm not doing it because I enjoy it anymore. I'm doing it (what little I am doing) because I feel compelled to at other people's insistence.
Now don't get me wrong I'm not ranting at you people. Its my fault for being such a bug out in the first place but there it is. So I think I'm going to have to do something I feared I would have to do ever since I left home three months ago. I'm going to have to quit. Well, full-time anyway.
You see, the thing is, I still reminisce about LNG. I miss all the good times, all the collabs, the random convos with people late into the night. I *do* still check the boards every now and again - particularily the Zany Page and Things We Feel Compelled to Share. And when I do I catch things - the first few lines of somebody's game post or the latest plot discussion on 'view posts since your last visit' and I think 'hey, that really cool idea I thought of three months ago would tie in here really well' or 'I can't wait to write up this and this.' I just don't think I can manage doing what I used to. I certainly don't think I can manage two games at once. I would, however, like to keep one going, so that from time to time I can write something, I can drop into a collab, etc. I probably could keep two characters going at once, but I think it'd be better if I just focused my limited efforts on one game.
Atm, I'm indecisive. I think I'm coming down on the side of SW, but I'm not too sure. LABN is the flagship after all, and I'd still very much like to be a part of that but...ehhh...I'll give it some thought.
Anywho, I'd just like to say an official thank you for putting up with me these last few years and that its been a wonderful time. I'll still be on msn as often as possible, so drop a hi every now and again...if I don't respond...keep pestering. It works. Ask Ally and Lou :P And like I said, you may see cameo's from my characters from time to time but for the sake of argument, I think it will be safe to move them to official NPC status.
Anybody wants to use any of the ideas I've been brewing, feel free to ask. Shaun has most of my LABN ones but I think I saw Lou mention something about a rebel alliance bit in a post...somewhere...its nothing big but its there if you want it.
Ta ta for now.
Hey Hey
Its been a good ride dude! :banana?: :D
Hey Hey
OK, you've just brought up a whole lot of deeply repressed feelings of my own... and I'm just going to say, I'm going to keep on repressing them.
I love this community so much, and I love the great minds that keep it going. Even the fictional characters are a part of my life, now. I've met really cool people, and if it wasn't for those people, I still likely wouldn't have seen the Great Ocean Road (I certainly wouldn't have seen it in a helicoptr... helilopt... hecilopt... ... tri-bladed flying contraption), I probably wouldn't be in London, I wouldn't have discovered my love for writing (for which now I don't know what I'd do without) and yeah! I've recieved so many good things from this community. Too much for me to give up just because I find it hard to get to the internet as often as I'd like.
I do have a storyline I need to get up. For the sake of my sanity, I need to get it up, and therefore I will. One day, I'm going to sit down and get it done.
For now, I'm working every single day, just returned from Germany, taking up Gaelic football ^_^, learning French and Sign, searching for city farms to volunteer to help with horses so I can learn more about them (which leads onto my next activity), am writting a book (or series if you will. I want to study horses for particular characters who work in stables, ride horses and what not)(also! Have not abandonned you for this book! It's just another project of mine that currently distracts me. I'm torn between the two - LABN and my book. I'm up to my seventh chapter, though :mrgreen: yay me), am trying to organise a French visa for the second part of next year so I can work, improve my French, and join the grape picking in September ^_^ and so on....
I'm busy, but writting here is something that's important to me and I still need to do.
I have not forgotten!
Love